redheart.gif (915 bytes)Dearest Catherine,
Those...words you read to me echo in my mind.
"...when I stood, forlorn,
Knowing my heart's best treasure was no more;
That neither present time nor years unborn
Could to my sight that heavenly face restore."*

I thought I would never see you again. I thought I had lost you.
Catherine, I-I knew there would come a time when your path would lead
you away from me. But what I never could imagine was...the pain I felt
when that day came. You must do everything you were meant to do - for
me, for both of us. To try to stop you would be to...mock everything we
believe in. And yet, to live by what is right can sometimes be so
difficult. has given me a freedom I've never known before. Through you,
I have...seen a world I had only dreamed of. And when that world of
possibilities seemed to end, I could not think, I could not breathe. I
lost myself, and in that moment of vulnerability I...fell prey to those
that would do me harm. When I awoke I was in a cage. Trapped, my
strength, my...will, my hope had left me. I could no longer fight. What
was there to fight for? I could feel myself slipping away.

Freedom, for me, has always been circumscribed by...who I am, by what I
am. I have never accepted those limits. From the time I was...very young
I promised myself never to become a prisoner of my fate. I took the
risk. I went above. Father always protested, but these risks brought me
great solace. The alleys and shadows, the...rooftops were mine. They
belonged to me. When I traveled them, my freedom was limitless. But I
traveled them alone. Until the night I found you. Then we traveled them
together. When fate called you down another path, I...felt all was lost,
that I'd been forgotten. I had lost my freedom. I had lost my faith. And
in that cage, I was dying. As darkness clouded my sight, I looked
up...and saw you. I thought it was a vision. I could not believe you had
come for me. In that cage I had lost my belief in everything but you
were there to remind that there is a power greater than evil, greater
than disillusionment, greater than fear. You were there to remind me.
For that - for everything, there are no words except - thank you.

Sleep well, my dearest Catherine, sleep well.


*William Wordsworth, Surprised by Joy

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